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The horrors, the horrors!
Long time no blog(certainly seemed like a long time for me) and no thanks to my pair of fucking useless brothers. So fucking shame to call them my brothers. I rather call that stray pussy brother!
To start off, I am so gonna F my way through.
Apologies if it's rude to your eyes but if I don't vent it out, I think I'm gonna constipate and die.
Reason being I haven't been blogging these few days and not sending the due photos to that group of narcissists(lol) is my brother(s) (Either or both of them) kinda spoilt my computer. Intentional or not, I don't give a damn now. Even though it wasn't spoil, I am fucking cross.
It could have meant that millions of precious photos are gone!
My parents are away and I am so fucking mad that they never chipped in a fucking bit to the house chores.
For the first one or two days, maybe. But fucking no now.
They are waiting for someone to fold and hang their laudry.
They are waiting for someone to buy the bread and jam.
They are waiting for someone to wash the cups and plates.
They are waiting for someone to iron their clothers and put it back to the respective places.
They are waiting for someone to empty the rubbish.
They are waiting for someone to sweep and mop the floor.
They are waiting for someone to FLUSH THEIR FUCKING URINE!!
I was so fucking mad when I reached home and saw all of that have to be done!
I literally curse them to fuck off and die.
I wish a lizard would shit on their fucking asses and let them rot.
I wish thier bodies would decay and fingers and toes would drop off one by one.
No, really.
I have not wish for their pain and death.
That wouldnt make me happy but more sad.
But I was really angry, infact really AM.
So I still did the laundry.
I hung the clothes and leave out theirs. Whether they wanna hung them or leave it till mushrooms pop out from there, I fucking don't care.
I fold,iron the clothes and leave out theirs. I wish they would just pour oil and set fire on it.
I sweep and mop the house and leave out their room. I hope all the cockroaches and mosquitoes will feast on them every night.
So I see that they decided to buy their own laptop and printer even cos' they know I will never ever let them use mine again. Hey, fucking good job! I wish you realised you both can't afford it for long and the pc crash very sooner than anyone expects.
I seriously have no idea how we are related.
It must be the way we are bred and our inborn characters.
Honestly I always kinda lamented this: I thought how fucking useless my brothers are, is partly due to my mum.
I don't mean that she loves them more than me but she does protects them.
You could tell since the last incident when the big fucker was in UK.
You could tell how it was when the lil fucker had everything serve till now.
I can't get over how unfair it is.
She would always said that I shouldn't draw the lines too clear and how she being the sister of many, was never like me.
Yes, I developed the habit of drawing the lines in the family. Or rather she thought I am so.
Whenever I asked who ate the stuff I bought, who took my things, I never meant it as dividing what's mine or not. But I wasn't surprised that it sounded so.
But now why should I not.
I tell ya, when they are back, she is so gonna nag and said the same old things.
If she isn't the woman I respect and love, I would probably ask the person to fuck off.
No, I never have the intentions of saying that to my mother. I may not know how to express my love but she knows I try hard.
Feeling all the disgustness for them now, I kinda regret for feeling regretted that I never treated them well enough. I tried in compensating anything that I could to let them know I love them too.
Now I so fucking regret that I wasted that kinda money for that creative MP3, jacket and many more.
I gave them the things I dont even have myself.
Let's face it. We are no longer what we used to be, playing together and laugh.
They are now just addicted asses to PS2 and that big fucker, porn too.
I am so disgusted that my brother IS a JESUS lover to the outside world. Or at least that is how he protrayed himself to be.
I could have expose that to my parents but I let him to pretend on.
How fucking hypocritical he is!
Y'know, saying all these doesnt makes me feel better.
If I don't feel better, why I even bother?
I guess I care.
I am so envious of Von who share such a dear relationship with her brothers.
I feel so alone sometimes.
I dont know how to express myself enough. I dont know how to not cope with things alone sometimes. I don't know how to laugh and feel attached with my family as much I really want to.
Sometimes I just feel so fucked up.
And you know what?
I dont know what am I complaining here for the past one hour or so.
Think I'm gonna shite!
-Simply Red "Say You Love Me"
To start off, I am so gonna F my way through.
Apologies if it's rude to your eyes but if I don't vent it out, I think I'm gonna constipate and die.
Reason being I haven't been blogging these few days and not sending the due photos to that group of narcissists(lol) is my brother(s) (Either or both of them) kinda spoilt my computer. Intentional or not, I don't give a damn now. Even though it wasn't spoil, I am fucking cross.
It could have meant that millions of precious photos are gone!
My parents are away and I am so fucking mad that they never chipped in a fucking bit to the house chores.
For the first one or two days, maybe. But fucking no now.
They are waiting for someone to fold and hang their laudry.
They are waiting for someone to buy the bread and jam.
They are waiting for someone to wash the cups and plates.
They are waiting for someone to iron their clothers and put it back to the respective places.
They are waiting for someone to empty the rubbish.
They are waiting for someone to sweep and mop the floor.
They are waiting for someone to FLUSH THEIR FUCKING URINE!!
I was so fucking mad when I reached home and saw all of that have to be done!
I literally curse them to fuck off and die.
I wish a lizard would shit on their fucking asses and let them rot.
I wish thier bodies would decay and fingers and toes would drop off one by one.
No, really.
I have not wish for their pain and death.
That wouldnt make me happy but more sad.
But I was really angry, infact really AM.
So I still did the laundry.
I hung the clothes and leave out theirs. Whether they wanna hung them or leave it till mushrooms pop out from there, I fucking don't care.
I fold,iron the clothes and leave out theirs. I wish they would just pour oil and set fire on it.
I sweep and mop the house and leave out their room. I hope all the cockroaches and mosquitoes will feast on them every night.
So I see that they decided to buy their own laptop and printer even cos' they know I will never ever let them use mine again. Hey, fucking good job! I wish you realised you both can't afford it for long and the pc crash very sooner than anyone expects.
I seriously have no idea how we are related.
It must be the way we are bred and our inborn characters.
Honestly I always kinda lamented this: I thought how fucking useless my brothers are, is partly due to my mum.
I don't mean that she loves them more than me but she does protects them.
You could tell since the last incident when the big fucker was in UK.
You could tell how it was when the lil fucker had everything serve till now.
I can't get over how unfair it is.
She would always said that I shouldn't draw the lines too clear and how she being the sister of many, was never like me.
Yes, I developed the habit of drawing the lines in the family. Or rather she thought I am so.
Whenever I asked who ate the stuff I bought, who took my things, I never meant it as dividing what's mine or not. But I wasn't surprised that it sounded so.
But now why should I not.
I tell ya, when they are back, she is so gonna nag and said the same old things.
If she isn't the woman I respect and love, I would probably ask the person to fuck off.
No, I never have the intentions of saying that to my mother. I may not know how to express my love but she knows I try hard.
Feeling all the disgustness for them now, I kinda regret for feeling regretted that I never treated them well enough. I tried in compensating anything that I could to let them know I love them too.
Now I so fucking regret that I wasted that kinda money for that creative MP3, jacket and many more.
I gave them the things I dont even have myself.
Let's face it. We are no longer what we used to be, playing together and laugh.
They are now just addicted asses to PS2 and that big fucker, porn too.
I am so disgusted that my brother IS a JESUS lover to the outside world. Or at least that is how he protrayed himself to be.
I could have expose that to my parents but I let him to pretend on.
How fucking hypocritical he is!
Y'know, saying all these doesnt makes me feel better.
If I don't feel better, why I even bother?
I guess I care.
I am so envious of Von who share such a dear relationship with her brothers.
I feel so alone sometimes.
I dont know how to express myself enough. I dont know how to not cope with things alone sometimes. I don't know how to laugh and feel attached with my family as much I really want to.
Sometimes I just feel so fucked up.
And you know what?
I dont know what am I complaining here for the past one hour or so.
Think I'm gonna shite!
Being one of those grains of sand
I get blown all around the world
And what I make of it
Oh I dont know
Whats the meaning of it
Oh I dont know
Ive been around so many times
That the worlds turning in my mind
What do I think of it
Oh its so so
What more can you be than the things they say youve been
Say you love me all around the world
Stay and hug me all around the world
Be yours a boy or be mine a girl
Just say you love me
Just say you love me
I never ever realised
Its so easy to make you cry
But did I break a bit
Oh I hope no
Have you forgot about it
Oh I hope so
But you never ever wonder why
In every single pair of eyes
There is a hunger in it
Or its soul dies
What more can you be than the things they say youve been
Say you love me all around the world
Stay and hug me all around the world
Be yours a boy or be mine a girl
Say you love me all around the world
Stay and hug me all around the world
Be yours a boy or be mine a girl
Just say you love me
Come on now darling say you love me
Oh yeah please please say you love me
Come on say you love me
-Simply Red "Say You Love Me"
2 Comments:
Gal!
Sighz, brothers, hell yes, they can be so lazy.
I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes, I complain a hell lot but I STILL DO IT, end of the day. I really hate it so much when I have to come home each fucking day with the house so horribly dirty and messed up (this is an under-statement). It is everyday. My mum doesnt do ALOT of chores. I can't rmber when I started but it is a everyday affair.
Kitchen - sink, floor, stove like shit
clothes - washed and not kept, or kept but not folded
Toilet - urine stains and what have you stains, hairs, etc etc
Home floor - foot prints, food dropped etc etc
ENDLESS, basically!
One, I can't stand untidiness.
Two, it is just too gross to leave the shite all down there. For you, you could leave out their rooms but I can't. I just feel so uncomfortable. I will curse and swear but STILL do it.
You ain't alone, its useless, my parents also maybe feel boys don't need to do all these, this is such a fucked up thinking, but I have lived with this so long it's becoming like, normal.
If u feel so frustrated, don't worry if you think no one understands. I do k? I really do.
Hugs. Tomorrow will be better (but the chores will remain).
Smile!!!!!
I HEART VONNY!!!!
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